Twattoo

I heard somebody say “twattoo” recently.

I’d never heard the word before but knew what it meant instantly.

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Nick, nick: A verb AND a noun

Jim Davidson's (British 80's stand-up comedian) catch-phrase used to be "nick,nick".  You'd hear him say it more than a few times in a show.
You see, he often got nicked himself, and I don't necessarily mean with a razor blade.

When you get nicked, you get taken down the nick. 

Furthermore, some people get nicked for nicking things.

Usage in this instance

1. verb. to steal – He nicked some vodka from the offy.
2. verb. to arrest – He got nicked for nicking vodka.
3. noun. police station or prison – He's in the nick for nicking vodka.

I've looked in loads of really old dictionaries and failed to find any etymology regarding these usages.  If any readers want to contribute or just even bullshit about where these usages come from, feel free.

Alternatively, just tell us if you've got an amusing story about you or someone you know getting nicked for something stupid.  

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Me, Juvenile? Never!

Without language so much humour would be lost. Mainly juvenile humour.

Most of you will already have seen what's coming here, either because you're juvenile or once were. Perhaps you've just seen it and detest defacement.

I was itching to reach for the can of spray paint when I saw this estate agent's sign the other day. You'll see what my efforts would have yielded later.

Why we refer to the toilet as a crapper has been discussed here before and I've found another source which makes for interesting reading as to whether he (Thomas Crapper) invented the toilet. You can find it here:

http://www.plumbingworld.com/historythomas.html

It's always best to remain cautious about articles we find on the net, but it's clear some research has gone into that one.

So, I wonder how many readers would have done this at one time:

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Scud Tharriz

It's good that is.

Actually, some people say "it's mint" or "last night was mint".

It's an expression that has finally started to bug the crap out of me, but folk around here are saying it all the time. I've no idea where it comes from. Can anybody help?

What pisses me off more is when the same people describe wealthy – and I don't mean merely affluent, I mean with more money than I could earn in 20 years – folk as being "minted".

Now, I can understand that one but it's still annoying. Probably to do with coins being minted. Does it count for notes? Do notes get minted or are they just printed. Printed I think, so why minted then? If they were that loaded (and why are rich people loaded; doesn't that mean drunk?) they wouldn't go near coins, just notes. Coins are for peasants and peasants can't afford pheasants and besides that they taste like shit…the pheasants that is, or so I'm told.

So, I don't understand after all; the connection or any of it.

It's mint that one is. Mint. Oh bollocks, I said it. My marbles are well and truly lost.

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Language and Psychology

WARNING: CONTAINS PROFANITY

Language and psychology go hand in hand, especially in marketing.

The other day I picked up the travel version of a popular board game. Let’s take a look at the the picture on the front of the box:

All nice words, nice and pleasant: cruise, train, friends, relax. There, that last one: relax. Playing this game can be anything but relaxing; fun, I’ll grant you that, but not relaxing. Arguments as to whether words exist, name calling, you get the idea.

This is a more likely scenario:

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From The French

I’ve learned a new word from my black female co-workers.

“Bouji.”

It’s a way to describe someone who is materialistic, polished, caught up in the things that seemingly signify status.

Usually, it’s used to explain to a man who is just a regular guy that a girl he might be interested in is simply too “bouji” for him.

The word is derived from “bourgeoisie” (man, that’s a lot of unnecessary vowels).

The most ubiquitous reference I’ve seen to it is by rapper Talib Kweli in a song he collaborated on with rapper Kanye West.

White guys learn something new every day. Though, usually I find a way to use this type of new knowledge. But probably not this one.

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The Full Gamut

There seem to be these words that are used for one purpose and one purpose only.

Take the phrase “high-strung,” to describe someone who’s constantly in a state of agitation.

So, if someone isn’t “high-strung,” would they then be “low-strung?”

We use the term only in one sense. In many ways, it works, because it’s the best way to describe what you’re trying to say.

Another phrase is “runs the full gamut.”

This is big in government/corporate speak. It’s a way of saying there is a wide range of points something touches on.

The word “gamut” means, basically, a color spectrum.

Do we use the word “gamut” in any other sense? Not really. But guys who really have no idea what a “gamut” is use this phrase repeatedly.

We also call the bathroom on an airplane a “lavatory,” but we don’t go take a crap in “lavatories” at home.

This phenomenon surely runs the full gamut.

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Holy exclamation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are many ways of expressing surprise.

Recently I was asked what I meant when I said ‘fucking spiders’ for no immediately obvious reason. I’ve no idea what the origins of this exclamation are but would hazard a guess that it has something to do with the surprise of seeing spiders copulating (a rare sight) or just the horror of seeing spiders. I’m kind of in love with the former idea. It’s just something I heard whilst growing up and have continued to use…because of my limited vocabulary.

Let’s think up some new ideas, or at least educate each other about different exclamations. I wonder what they say in different parts of the world.

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