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Archive for March, 2006

I like graffiti art and just plain old graffiti. It's good to know that "Jeannie's mum is a lesbian."

I suspect the author of the above piece of work can spell perfectly well. We all make spelling mistakes from time to time; we're human. But this is klearly an urban-kool spelling.

Which begs the question: is the editor of my local newspaper a closet graffiti artist?

Well, that's if editors are responsible for what goes in the final print, but I thought that error sounded, phonetically at least, like something you might have the vet do to your pet dog.

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Cock Of The Town

Reading a book about Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Ronnie Van Zant I came across the expression “tush hog” which described some of the people in Ronnie’s neighbourhood.

Apparently a tush hog is the kind of person who starts a fight for no other reason than that they wish to hurt someone, not for honour or valour, just because they want to inflict pain.

The author of the book doesn’t know the origin of “tush hog” but I bet it’s pretty interesting.

If anybody’d like to offer the origin or perhaps just bullshit as to what it might be, please go ahead.

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Dog lovers say their dogs are like children. Typically, this seems to be true when they don’t have actual children. Which is cool. Caring deeply for anything almost always is.

The same thing, I’m told, goes for cats, too.

Which brings me to my point.

I’m always interested in what people name their animals. Putting aside names like “Fluffy,” “Frisky” and “Killer” … I’m fascinated when people name their pets after actual, everyday human names.

Some make sense … “Charlie,” “Dolly,” “Sadie.”

But then there are those …

There’s a guy who passes by in my neighborhood. His dog’s name is “Ashley.”

Something strikes me about that. I have a sister-in-law named Ashley.

It reminds me of when we were walking our dog, “Sky.” A kid came up to pet her, we told him no, she’s not friendly with kids. And he mistakingly called her “Scott.”

It really is odd to think … “Scott,” “David,” “Jennifer,” “Richard,” “Bob,” “Elizabeth,” “Cheryl,” “Paul,” “John,” “Carol,” “Eric” …

Could you imagine “Mary” squatting for a dump in someone’s yard?

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Like it matters…

The MADE IN ENGLAND part, that is.

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The people of North America (possibly South America and Canada as well, I’m not sure) have it figured out. They use what I’d call imperial measurements: good old pounds and ounces.

Here in Britain, it’s a different matter. There’s some confusion as to what we use.

Here’s a packet of out of date bacon I found festering at the back of the fridge:

bacon

There are 385 grams of bacon in here. But I asked for a pound of bacon. The lady behind the counter isn’t supposed to weigh in pounds, but she does her best to weigh it as close to 500kg as she can, which is as near enough to a pound as she can get with the way the bacon is cut. Actually, I got 0.85 pounds of bacon. Still, I’m not fussy when it comes to food.

Shops here aren’t allowed by the law to sell in pounds and ounces any longer, thanks to the the EEC (European Economic Community)

But a lot still do, and they can get fined pretty heavily for it.

Soon we’ll lose our precious pint and have to buy half a litre of beer instead, which is a con. A pint being 0.585 litre, we’ll lose 85 millilitres yet the price will stay the same which is actually increasing it, if you know what I mean.

So, stick to your pounds and ounces if that’s what you use. It’s much easier and probably why we still weigh in imperial when we shouldn’t.

But just one thing: what does this have to do with economy of words?

“My cousin weighs two hundred and eighty pounds.”

“My cousin weighs twenty stones.”

See how better the second quote reads. And the unit of stone works with pounds (lbs) There are four syllables less in that second sentence.

Of course, you could just say, “My cousin weighs two-eighty.” But that confuses us Brits.

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Brrrrrr

gas fire

So, it be winter here and it’s a tad parky outside. Exhaustive research (exhaustive being a relative term where I’m concerned) hasn’t yielded the origin of the word parky.

So, I’m going to attribute its origin to the old style parker coats people used to wear when it was…parky. Although I suspect the word’s been around a lot longer than the coat.

Any ideas?

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Moonlight Flit

So, we’ve completed the flit.
In northern England and Scotland, the word flit can mean ‘to move house.’

We’ve some strange dialect up here.

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