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When people continually whinge about something, it’s often said that they’re “harping on.”

Is not the harp a beautiful instrument that makes calming noises?

Still, if it was good enough for Shakespeare…

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The Word of a Drink

“I’ve missed not seeing you.”

I’m fairly sure the guy meant “I’ve missed seeing you.”

But if he didn’t, I’m going to add that riposte to my armoury.

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The Shape of Food

“We should all eat three square meals a day.”

But how can we when plates and dishes are mostly round?

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A Milk Shortage

After making a cup of tea for somebody, they asked me if the cow had died.

Apparently I hadn’t put enough milk in to suit their tastes.

20140427-090703.jpg

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What is old?

How much time must elapse before something becomes old?

Is it all relative to how long we’ve been on this Earth?

“Here’s an old photo of me,” said a kid of 14. The photo was about 18 months old.

Should he have said, “Here’s a recent photo of me?”

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Give it a what?

“I wonder if the new menu’s better than the last one?” my friend said.

“You’ve got to give it a whirl, at least,” I said

And that’s when it struck me. We say it so often when talking about trying new things, but what does it really mean?

I can only think that the expression might come from either dancing or fairground rides.

What’re your thoughts?

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I was at work trying to describe to a fellow writer that someone was well-off.

They were, as I said, “Uh-FLU-uhnt.”

She laughed at me.

Once she composed herself, she said, “I’m sorry, don’t you mean “AFF-loo-uhnt?”

She told me that I was referring to “effluent,” as in sewage.

By my ear, that’s “EF-loo-uhnt.”

I can appreciate the miniscule difference – but even in that narrow gap, it sounds clear enough to me.

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