Archive for the ‘Profanity’ Category


I heard somebody say “twattoo” recently.

I’d never heard the word before but knew what it meant instantly.


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When we talk about writing letters, us Brits have a certain…overly long way about asking people to send us mail:

“Send a letter to me.”

“Write me a letter.”

Whereas some other nations are somewhat more economic with words:

“Write me.”

Call me old fashioned but I like the long-winded approach:

“Go forth and reproduce” is sometimes a better way of saying “Fuck off.”

But then, this is where I get incongruent…because it can be just as good to say “Go forth” and leave it at that…well, you could add the middle finger in just for good measure. After all, body language is just as important.

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Language and Psychology


Language and psychology go hand in hand, especially in marketing.

The other day I picked up the travel version of a popular board game. Let’s take a look at the the picture on the front of the box:

All nice words, nice and pleasant: cruise, train, friends, relax. There, that last one: relax. Playing this game can be anything but relaxing; fun, I’ll grant you that, but not relaxing. Arguments as to whether words exist, name calling, you get the idea.

This is a more likely scenario:

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A New Word

rectoplasm n.

Something that comes out of your bum which is so scary it makes you shit yourself.

It's an odd one, I'll grant you that. And there might be something contradictory going off there. But I like it.

The definition could also be: what comes out of the arse after an evening of beer and curry and makes you very frightened.

Source: Viz

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There are many ways of expressing surprise.

Recently I was asked what I meant when I said ‘fucking spiders’ for no immediately obvious reason. I’ve no idea what the origins of this exclamation are but would hazard a guess that it has something to do with the surprise of seeing spiders copulating (a rare sight) or just the horror of seeing spiders. I’m kind of in love with the former idea. It’s just something I heard whilst growing up and have continued to use…because of my limited vocabulary.

Let’s think up some new ideas, or at least educate each other about different exclamations. I wonder what they say in different parts of the world.

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