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Archive for the ‘General’ Category

Expletive Deleted

It doesn’t seem that long ago that newspapers used to replace profanity with the words “expletive deleted.”

Didn’t “expletive deletive” leave a lot more to the imagination than “f***ing?”

And what’s with those asterisks?  How f***ing pointless are they?  Most kids in the playground have heard that word now, thanks to DVDs and the internet.

It’s time we went back to the old (expletive deleted) way … ?

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Misspellin’

The sign in the Southeastern part of the United States of America department store.

It’s the way we say it.

I can’t imagine it’s intentional — but it would be pretty cool if it were.

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50/50 Really?

I asked a guy for an answer I needed.

“Are you going to be there?”

“I don’t know, I’m 50/50. But probably.”

Well, isn’t “probably” more than 50-50?

Or maybe at best 51-49?

The other side would be “probably not,” which is trouble because it sounds so less optimistic to the point that  you shouldn’t even offer a percentage.

He ended up coming, as I expected — no thanks to percentages.

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Contrary From The Start

I was staring at a blank screen to write a story and for whatever reason it struck me that you’d never see a lead paragraph that starts with “However, …”

And the comma is important, because you could start a first paragraph with, say, “However you do it …”

I guess you could start a story with a quote that starts with “However, ..” — but that’s cheating.

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CON-sumer CON-fidence

If we’re to believe what we’re told, the global recession is nearing an end and we are about to witness a growth of the e-CON-omy.

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Definitions

I’ve heard that Einstein coined the phrase that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I’m sorry, but it’s a little more complicated than that.

Insanity is … sitting in a corner lightly humming the Super Mario Bros.  theme song as you try to shoot fire from your hands and instead wipe your own feces all over the wall.

Yes, even that’s more complicated.

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Forming your own band isn’t an easy thing to do these days.  You have to find people of similar musical tastes, who also share your bizarre fashion sense and the haircut your parents hate, and you need to have a name for your band.

How some of these band names are made fascinates me.  The following list contains names of real bands, bands with seemingly random names, names which appear to have been chosen by mashing words together. 

  1. Arctic Monkeys
  2. The Stone Roses
  3. Inspiral Carpets
  4. Cobra Starship
  5. Blind Melon
  6. Stone Temple Pilots
  7. The Smashing Pumpkins
  8. Toad The Wet Sprocket
  9. Bowling for Soup
  10. Lawnmower Deth

What would you call your band?

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