…a johnny with a hole in it.
…a chocolate fireguard.
…twenty Marlboro and no light.
…wet toilet paper.
Darren’s email client was about as much use as a johnny with a hole in it. i.e. something got sent where it shouldn’t have. But then that’d probably be Darren’s fault so perhaps it’s him that’s like a holed rubber.
Chocolate fireguards, though, would actually be quite useful to someone who hasn’t eaten for a few days. They could well puke afterwards though.
Twenty Marlboro? Well, more and more people are quitting the evil tobacco, so that one looks like being made redundant.
Wet toilet paper could be used by kids making papier-mache, but we have to say, on the whole, it’s useless.
So, here we are in the land of Simile. Perhaps this post’s about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. How do you tell someone that something isn’t much use?