Cock Of The Town

Reading a book about Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Ronnie Van Zant I came across the expression “tush hog” which described some of the people in Ronnie’s neighbourhood.
Apparently a tush hog is the kind of person who starts a fight for no other reason than that they wish to hurt someone, not for honour or valour, just [...]

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Moonlight Flit

So, we’ve completed the flit.
In northern England and Scotland, the word flit can mean ‘to move house.’
We’ve some strange dialect up here.

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In Trouble Again

Rocket and Spire
Originally uploaded by idleman.
My mum used to say she’d give me a rocket if I got in trouble.
Some people, when they’re angry, say they want to shove a rocket up someone’s arse.
Just as long as it’s not Stephenson’s Rocket. You’d need a big arse to get that [...]

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Direct Communication

There’s no point, if you’ll excuse the pun, beating around the bush.
Tell it how it is.

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From Ph to F

Most of my science textbooks were written by British authors yet the more recent ones have something nasty going off inside them.
The international scientific community has long used SI units to avoid confusion for those replicating experiments or analysing results. SI units are a language of their own.
But what’s bugging me is how the word [...]

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Fawlty Food

Ordering food abroad can be…confusing for all concerned.
In the classic sit-com Fawlty Towers, our inept host, Basil Fawlty, experiences some difficulty when an American guest orders food:
Mr Hamilton: Could you make me a Waldorf Salad?
Basil: Oh, … ah, … wa?
Mr Hamilton: Waldorf Salad?
Basil: I think we are just out of Waldorfs.
What ensued was embarrassment for [...]

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Walking The Dog

Terrestrial TV, all five channels of it, is enough to make any man take the dog for a walk.
It’s so bad that even the guys updating the Now and Next text guide have gone to walk the dog; failing to update the schedule…Film 2006 has already started.
Come rain, snow or blow we are free [...]

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Close to the land of Oxymoron

The word “free” means something different to me than it does to the people who made the advert. And this is certainly going to cost you your time and electricity.

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Put-down

One of the finest proletarian phenomenons of American culture is the “Yo Mama” put-down.
No matter how old you are, you just can’t resist their simple, concise wit.
I wish I was clever enough to make them up myself. Here are some of the absolute best:
—
Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead to make [...]

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It’s all in t’vernacular

When you start getting up country, into North East Derbyshire and Yorkshire, something happens to the word ‘the’…
It disappears.
In speech, ‘the’ is often omitted. It’s all about economy.
Here are some cod examples:
Are you going t’shop? – Here you’d silence the last ‘g’ in going.
T’shops closed. – This one is tricky. You blend the [...]

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