CON-sumer CON-fidence

If we’re to believe what we’re told, the global recession is nearing an end and we are about to witness a growth of the e-CON-omy.

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Definitions

I’ve heard that Einstein coined the phrase that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
I’m sorry, but it’s a little more complicated than that.
Insanity is … sitting in a corner lightly humming the Super Mario Bros.  theme song as you try to shoot fire from your [...]

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Ninja Camels of Artichoke County

Forming your own band isn’t an easy thing to do these days.  You have to find people of similar musical tastes, who also share your bizarre fashion sense and the haircut your parents hate, and you need to have a name for your band.
How some of these band names are made fascinates me.  The following list contains [...]

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I’ll have something healthy, thanks.

I don’t want my bacon cured, thanks.  That doesn’t mean I want it diseased either.
No, sir.  I want  healthy bacon, bacon which has never needed curing of anything.
Is that too much to ask?

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Common Sense

Just doesn’t seem that common these days and therefore should be known as uncommon sense from this day forth.

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Exclusivity

I keep thinking about taking my truck to the Exclusive Detailing and Auto Care place that I drive by every day on my way to work.
But I don’t want to feel excluded.

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Under Lock and Key

Why under?
And isn’t it a bad idea to leave the key with the lock?  That isn’t secure if you ask me.
What are your favourite poorly worded clichés?

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Theological Thumpers?

It’s coming to that time of year when there’s a knock at the door and you know who it is before you even open it.
To insult these people (never to their faces) some might call them names.  And they don’t put much thought into their insults.
Bible Bashers.
Where this one came from I’ve no idea.  But [...]

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Row Row Row in Your Boat…

…while you’re rowing down the stream
Punch your wife in the head
And hope it’s all a dream
Yes, they were rowing that day.  Not in a boat.  They could have been but they weren’t rowing while they were rowing.  They had their argument in the car and, consequently, crashed into a streetlamp.  Then they had a row [...]

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Moving the Food

“Food to go” – it’s creeping up everywhere.  And nobody knows where it’s going to.
“Food to take away” – I’d sooner take it away.  I can take it anywhere I choose.
But food to go?  It gives me images of the food getting up on its own legs and leaving by itself.

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