Pleased to meet you. Let’s drown together.

When meeting new people at social functions we often need something to “break the ice”, be it a joke or funny anecdote about the host.
But surely, if we break the ice are we not in danger of drowning?

Read Full Post »

A Modern Liberty

“Give ‘em an inch and they’ll take a mile.” You might say that they will take the liberty.
It’s not uncommon for somebody to describe such liberty-taking as “taking the biscuit.” Why it’s a biscuit we take, and where it’s being taken to, I don’t know. But when we do take the biscuit, [...]

Read Full Post »

It’s RIGHT, right?

“I’ve just had a right good shit,” a friend who is known for giving unnecessary information said.
So, a good shit was not enough, it was a right good shit. Does that mean a good shit which is correct?  Can a good shit be incorrect for that matter.
“I’m right pleased with my new job.” – Can [...]

Read Full Post »

Abstinence

When we stop doing something we mostly tend to say that we just stopped or we quit.  Similarly, we might ask someone to quit or stop.
It’s a British quirk, an English one at least, right across the classes to say something different:
“No thanks, I’ve packed the booze in.”
“It’s time you packed in with those cigarettes.”
For [...]

Read Full Post »

Births, Marriages and Deaths

It’s that part of the local newspaper we’re all drawn to, where we see who we know has had a kid, got wed, or shuffled off this mortal coil.
Over the years, I’ve heard the obituaries called the “Head and Shoulders” page, but births and marriages have always remained births and marriages…until this week.
And I have [...]

Read Full Post »

Hot ‘n’ Humid

Sorry for the lack of posts. It's just that I can be…even more lazy than usual when we get our nine days of annual unbearably hot weather.
We're ready for a good thunderstorm. Some neighbouring regions've had them already (lucky bastards) but oh no, not here.
Here're three words somtimes used to describe hot and [...]

Read Full Post »

Taking The Vows

There's always one on a boys night out, the one who has to leave early.
"Sorry, but I'm on a promise, lads."
'On a promise' then, means a male has been told he will 'get his oats' if he goes home early.
Well, that's what it's supposed to mean. But we all know the truth is that [...]

Read Full Post »

Tarting It Up

In Britain (also Australia) we often refer to promiscuos women as tarts. Not because we eat them though.
Tart is a derivation of sweetheart and just that simple word leads us into new territory.
Tarts like to dress up in a way that makes them sexually appealing to men: short skirts, tops that expose the [...]

Read Full Post »

The Full Gamut

There seem to be these words that are used for one purpose and one purpose only.
Take the phrase “high-strung,” to describe someone who’s constantly in a state of agitation.
So, if someone isn’t “high-strung,” would they then be “low-strung?”
We use the term only in one sense. In many ways, it works, because it’s the best way [...]

Read Full Post »

Holy exclamation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are many ways of expressing surprise.
Recently I was asked what I meant when I said ‘fucking spiders’ for no immediately obvious reason. I’ve no idea what the origins of this exclamation are but would hazard a guess that it has something to do with the surprise of seeing spiders copulating (a rare sight) or [...]

Read Full Post »